It is common to feel hesitant about resuming dating, socializing, and intimacy following a sexual assault. There is no need to force yourself into intimate social situations too quickly. Delaying this may allow you to gradually reintroduce yourself to safe, enjoyable and healthy relationships.

If the assailant is someone you know, you may feel your trust in that person has been destroyed as well as your trust in your own judgment about people, in general. You will need to learn to trust your instincts and act upon them. Itšs okay to take your time.

Feeling Safe

Flashbacks are a frequent side effect of sexual assault. Flashbacks are feelings, thoughts, or images that almost reconstruct the assault. Flashbacks can be triggered by sounds, smells, touch, or sights. These images may occur during sexual activity and can produce feelings of guilt and confusion. It may be difficult to explain your reactions to your partner. Try to be as open as possible with your partner about your needs. Sometimes you may feel the need to stop or change what you are doing when the flashback occurs. At other times, you may be able to concentrate on something else. Overall, you may find it is better to allow the memory to come and go rather than try to shut it out or pretend it is not there.

Confusion

Another confusing phenomenon can occur during a sexual assault. Fear, disgust, and pain are almost always present during the assault, but a victim may also experience arousal or even an orgasm. If this happened to you, you may feel this means you really wanted it and you may feel as if your body betrayed you. It is important to understand that an orgasm is a natural biological response which can occur with physical pressure and even fear. The presence of arousal or an orgasm does not change the fact that what happened to you was a violent crime.

Your sexual recovery starts with the understanding that sexual assault is a crime of violence. The rapist used sex to overcome and humiliate you, but the motivation was not sexual. Accepting this, you can then recognize your own and your partneršs sexuality as a caring, giving relationship, different from the rape.

Remember