The Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.

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Sometimes you just get the feeling that something is wrong. Perhaps it is because of how the person is behaving or things the person says - or even doesn't say. In times like those, there are things you can say and do which will create a safe environment for disclosure. Please keep in mind that it is vital not to ask leading questions, especially when talking with children. Asking open-ended questions is a good way to avoid suggesting to the person that he or she was sexually assaulted. Questions like, "What happened to you that seems to cause the pain I see?" allows the person to respond freely. Behavioral Changes that May Suggest Sexual Assault In CHILDREN Sudden onset of bedwetting or fear of the dark Clinging to a parent Fire setting Cruelty to animals Regressing to the behavior of an earlier age Use of sexual terms or new names for body parts Excessive masturbation Inappropriate sexual behavior; acting out In ADULTS and CHILDREN Fear of certain people or places Changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns Extreme moodiness or withdrawal Abrupt changes in conduct of any sort Work/School difficulties Frequent daydreaming - dissociation Problems relating to peers Changes in sexual behavior - promiscuity, problems with intimacy Creating A Safe Environment Be aware of the following needs of the survivor: Use a private setting to talk to the person Sit at or below the person's level Use informal body posture Use casual eye contact - too much direct eye contact can increase feelings of shame Control your emotions Watch the person's facial expressions, gestures, and posture Give the person permission to feel emotions Use the person's words, especially sexual terms Give the person permission to tell by saying things like "I think you must have been hurt, and it wasn't your fault. I want to understand what happened, so I can help you feel safe. Will you tell me what happened?" or "I won't think you are bad and I won't punish you." Let the person know this has happened to others like them. If the person chooses not to accept the opportunity to talk, then do not pressure them. Their needs must always be the priority. However, if the person is under 18 years of age and you suspect abuse you must follow procedures for reporting to officials regardless of whether the child confirms your suspicions or not. Responding to Disclosure Immediately respond by saying . . . I believe you. I am glad you told me. I know it was not your fault I am sorry it happened. I will do my best to keep you safe. Follow up by inquiring . . . Do you feel safe from future harm? Have you received medical attention? Reasons for Seeking Medical Attention Regardless of when the assault occurred or the nature of the assault, all survivors should seek medical attention. The survivor may Be in shock Have internal and/or external injuries Have been exposed to a sexually transmitted infection Have become pregnant Need the collection and documentation of physical evidence for the prosecution's case, the police investigation, or for potential monetary compensation For more information contact your local rape crisis center.

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